Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
