He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
