wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just invented taco cereal.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
