He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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