Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
why do cheetos always look like penises
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
When are your genitals available?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
