my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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