So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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