Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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