I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
