Tell her she can't have a vagina
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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