You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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