New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
