do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I have aggressive nipples.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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