I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize