think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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