He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I met the friendliest cop last night
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
