Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
