i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize