dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize