"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
