Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
