It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
