My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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