and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Mom said you looked used
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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