Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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