she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
