Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
