So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
