I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
