guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
