Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
