I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize