Pappa wants mamma naked
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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