sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
