THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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