Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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