I have demons in me.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
