Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
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