I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I bet he comes in French.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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