I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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