i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
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