I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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