There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
