I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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