Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize