can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
