Cold hands, warm shart.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
