plz talk dirty to me
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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