Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
