It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I am available for nakedness
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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