11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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