This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
