you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
