we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
