The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
