my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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