Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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