I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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