I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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