these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
