He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
