im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize