so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
