Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize