everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I am naked and annoyed.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
