I got chris browned last night
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
you never un-have a 4some
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
