ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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