All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
