You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
