There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize