she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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