Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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