mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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