Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize