like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
