dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My dick has a subreddit
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
my liver is dry heaving
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
