do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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