Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize